If Old Acquaintances Be Forgot
A January Reflection on Reconnection
“So what’s your favorite company for customer service, and why?”
It felt like a thoughtful question.
I was sitting in an informational interview at a workplace mental health firm. I wasn’t entirely sure where he was going with it, but something about the way he asked made me pause. This wasn’t small talk. It was a values question.
I answered honestly.
Zappos.
They weren’t just reactive. When an order was delayed, it might be upgraded to free overnight shipping without being requested, as it was for me once, and sometimes followed by something unexpectedly human, like a handwritten note of thanks in the mail. At least it did in 2011, when this conversation took place.
“Wow,” he said. “That’s a great answer.”
I remember thinking: This guy is intentional. I want to stay in touch with him.
And I did.
For 5 years.
That’s a long time to stay connected without an agenda, but I found a cadence that felt natural. I checked in seasonally. A brief note when the seasons shifted. An upcoming holiday as a soft opening. A simple thinking of you without an ask.
Now, 15 years later, Dr. Randy Martin remains a valued and dear colleague.
That’s the thing about connection.
The most meaningful ones are rarely urgent. And people often prefer them that way.
They’re sustained quietly, over time.
365 days make a year.
But moments make a life.
And the people inside those moments are what give it texture.
What makes it rich, dimensional, and full.
We often mark time by milestones: promotions, projects, anniversaries, all sorts of new beginnings.
But when we look back, it’s rarely the dates that stand out.
It’s the conversations.
The collaborations.
The moments of feeling understood, supported, or genuinely seen.
The people.
Which is why this time of year always gives way to reflection.
There’s a lot of chatter about resolutions and reinvention. About change. But less attention is paid to who has mattered, who we’ve drifted from, and who we might want to carry more intentionally into the year ahead.
January invites reflection not just on what we’re building, but on who we’re building with.
And sometimes, the most meaningful reset is about connection rather than goals.
I See it Nearly Every Early January.
They say they’re ready.
They say they’re motivated.
They say this year will be different.
But many are moving forward untethered from meaningful connection.
Connections that once mattered didn’t end in conflict. They faded quietly. People they respected slipped out of view. Relationships went dormant, not due to a defined rupture, but rather from inattention. We’ve all seen it. And we’ve all experienced it.
Reaching out started to feel awkward.
Or unnecessary.
Or easy to postpone.
And so, it didn’t happen.
That hesitation isn’t a personal weakness; rather, it’s psychological.
Reflection Before Projection
January has a way of pushing us forward, like one of those moving walkways at the airport.
We commit to new goals, new plans, and new expectations for ourselves and for others.
But before projecting ourselves into another year, it’s worth pausing to reflect on what we may have unintentionally let go of.
Ask yourself:
What moments this past year felt isolating at work?
What relationships energized me that I allowed to fade?
What remains unresolved simply because I never followed up?
This goes beyond staying top of mind. Disconnection is rarely the result of conflict. It’s far more often the quiet result of unintentional, yet still consequential, inattention.
The Psychology of Reconnection
From a psychological perspective, social connection isn’t a nicety. It’s foundational, more like a load-bearing structure than a decorative detail.
It helps us do better work.
Gallup research shows that employees who report having a close friend at work are 7x more likely to be engaged, yet fewer than 30% of employees say they have one.
At the same time, the American Psychological Association reports that more than 90% of workers say psychological well-being is critical to their performance, while nearly 60% say they feel lonely at work at least some of the time.
When people move through work without relational touchpoints, stress builds and perspective thins, like sand passing through the narrowest point of an hourglass.
We become more inward, maybe more self-critical. But also more hesitant to reach out.
We know brief moments of reconnection matter. Research on social support shows that positive professional relationships reduce stress responses and improve cognitive flexibility, directly affecting judgment, creativity, and decision-making.
And when those connections fade, something interesting takes hold.
Fear.
Fear of bothering someone
Fear of seeming transactional
Fear of being forgotten
But most reconnections feel like something else entirely.
They’re welcome.
Often appreciated, even.
A Simple Network Refresh
This doesn’t require a grand gesture. Or a long, flowery email. Or a recap of everything someone accomplished this year.
Just intention.
List it.
Think of two or three people you genuinely enjoyed working with.
Name it.
What did you value about the relationship?
Decide the gesture.
A short message?
A brief note?
A simple “I was thinking of you.”
Send it.
One message this week.
No ask.
No agenda.
Connection doesn’t need justification to be worthwhile.
Why This Matters Now
Work has become faster, more fragmented, and more digitally mediated.
Research from MIT shows collaborative work has increased by more than 50% over the past two decades, yet time for relationship-building has not kept pace.
We’re interacting more, sure, but are we connecting?
Without intentional reconnection, people struggle because the relational scaffolding that supports them isn’t there.
January 2 offers a rare pause before momentum takes over again.
Closing Thoughts
You don’t need to overhaul your career this year. Though sometimes change finds us anyway.
You may just need to refresh your connections.
Sometimes what we need to leave behind isn’t a role, a goal, or a habit.
It’s the hesitation that keeps us from reaching out.
You can’t just mind your business. You need to Mind Your Workplace™.
— Christina